The Scourging at the Pillar
This is day 36 of my 40 day Lenten blog.
Of all the Sorrowful Mysteries it is the scourging that emotionally impacts me the most. I think it is because I can so easily visualize myself whipping Jesus with the cat o' nine tails.
I hold the whip and I give Him each lash with anger and pleasure. I enjoy punishing Him because He deserves it. Why does He deserve it? What has He done to warrant such a terrible fate? He has dared to tell me not to sin. But I want to sin. I love sin. And so with each lash of the cat I show Him that I don't care what He thinks. HE is bad, not me. HE deserves to be punished, not me. I beat Him and beat Him, tearing at His flesh. That will teach Him not to tell me what to do.
Each bloody stripe on His back represents a sin I have committed. Each time I commit a sin, the whip strikes. But I don't care. If I truly cared I would stop beating Him. But I don't stop beating Him. Not a day goes by when I don't lash Him. I have whipped Him so much that He is now in a pool of blood, unable to stand under His own power.
As I look at Him in such a sorrowful state, I finally realize what I have done. I finally realize that He did NOT deserve to be scourged. I did. I deserved it for all my evil. For all the ways I have hurt people. Then I see His mother staring at Him, His beaten and bloody body, weeping bitterly. I realize that I am not only the cause of His pain, but of hers, too. And by the time I get to the last Hail Mary, I am often weeping along with her.
Today's prayer: Jesus forgive me.